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"But when couples feel guilty leaving a child with a sitter, I tell them, 'This isn't selfish, it's protecting both your marriage and your family.'"Expert Makeover "It's great that these two have such a strong common interest," says James M. D., assistant professor of psychology at Western Washington University in Bellingham."I'd like them to indulge their passions in a project they can finish in a few hours — one with a unique twist.Experimenting together makes a date more satisfying, just as team-building exercises draw people closer."When a couple has to overcome a new challenge, their sense of accomplishment after they succeed is magnified.

It reminded me how good we are at working together and how we complement each other: Nina did the organizing and the shopping, and got the rice going."My wife and I love the ballet," says Aron, "and my sister gave us a backstage tour at the local dance company, so we got a different perspective on something we already enjoy."To discover how to spice up date nights, we found three couples who faced challenges and asked them to road-test expert fix-it advice. The Kitchen Cure Names: Nina and Jayme Deibler Hometown: Pittsburgh Married: 4 years; she's 37, he's 38Kids: A daughter, 2Their challenge: Making date night happen at all"My husband and I used to have great dates," Nina says."We both love good food, and we'd often spend five or six hours cooking and experimenting with different wines."But since their daughter was born, finding couple time has gotten harder.To help keep your marriage strong, date night should be fun — of course — but you should also make it novel in some way, or you'll grow bored with your time together and, possibly, with each other, says Arthur Aron, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the State University of New York at Stony Brook who researches couples' interactions.

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